Brides Blogging: Getting AND Keeping Your Groom Involved

August 6, 2013


Today’s Brides Blogging post comes from Michelle Grant. Michelle and her fiancé Jeff have such an adorable background story, so allow me to let Michelle tell it in her own words:

“We actually went to school together from elementary through high school.  We had second and fifth grade together but somehow managed to not have a class together again ever.   We also lived down the street from each other in San Jose. With all of this, you’d think we would’ve been closer growing up!  Not the case. He was pretty shy and I was an outgoing tomboy. We kind of ran with a different circle of friends and after high school graduation, we didn’t see each other again until we were 21 at a bar called Katie Bloom’s in Campbell.   We both recognized each other from a distance and finally mustered up the courage to say hello. He was twice the size I remembered him as!  At the time, he was a fitness manager at The Right Stuff Health Clubs and I was a waitress. He was just as handsome as could be, I couldn’t stop staring!  After that first night, we made plans to hang out in the next few weekends to come. I messaged him on MySpace a few days later because I couldn’t wait and we made plans for what I thought was the next weekend. The next weekend, I invited my best girlfriend Sabrina (one of my bridesmaids) to meet Jeff and his friends in Campbell.  We waited a few hours and I was heartbroken thinking he had just stood me up.   I messaged him again on MySpace and jokingly said “what the heck?”. He laughed and thought I was nuts, our message had actually said we’d meet up the weekend after next.  So he didn’t stand me up at all, I was so excited to meet him that I didn’t even read the message carefully enough!  We met with a group of friends that weekend and it was all over from there.  We have been inseparable for seven years now. We moved to Arizona 3 years ago to finish our degrees at ASU. I work in commercial banking and Jeff is in the application process with a few different police departments.   He has had his heart set on being an officer ever since I can remember. I’m so proud of him. We are so excited to get married and celebrate with our friends and family in February!”

It doesn’t get much cuter than that, does it?!

So, without further ado, here is Michelle’s guest blog on how to keep your groom involved in the planning process!



When I first got engaged, I frequently heard, “have you started planning yet? Have you chosen the venue?  Have you chosen your colors?”  People assume that there isn’t much “we” involved when it comes to planning a wedding—but it doesn’t have to be that way!  This day is just as important to your groom as it is to you.   As brides, we have to be creative when it comes to including our men in the planning process since we all know they don’t dream about flowers and dresses when they pop the question.  I have a few pieces of advice for my fellow brides to get your men involved and keep them interested in the planning of the biggest day of both your lives.


The first thing I did was just ask!  “Hey babe—what colors do you think we should choose?” Not expecting him to care much, he surprised me when he said he knew for sure he wanted purple.  When I asked him why, he told me, “because The Joker is purple”.  Batman is all time favorite movie and he’s a HUGE comic book fan, I mean HUGE—so this gave me an idea.  I can relate the wedding to things that interest my future husband!  Genius! Purple—the Joker, perfect!  Lucky for me I really wanted a deep purple as one of our colors so it worked out great.  But the point is, if we relate the wedding to things that interest our fiancés, they will actually get involved.  And despite what we as women or society might say about men being a part of the wedding planning process, they do love to feel included and it’s actually quite easy to include them.


I really took the comic book idea an ran with it.   I thought about the parts of the wedding that are fun for the groom—obviously, the first thing that came to mind is when he gets to pull the garter off my leg.   I thought to myself, I should really do something special or fun for him.   Then the idea of making a custom garter came to me—so I’m custom-making a black and yellow garter with a batman patch on it.  Is it my style?  Not really.  But will my husband feel over-the-moon that I surprised him with a Batman-themed garter?  Absolutely.  In fact I think he might cry!  But he will feel so special and loved—isn’t that what a marriage is about?  The point is to make your groom feel like he is a part of the process.  This isn’t just your day—it’s his day too!  You don’t want your groom to show up, look around, and feel that he had nothing to do with the planning.  You want to look around together and feel that togetherness and love.  A marriage is about talking things over, coming to an agreement, and loving the outcome because you chose it together.


Simply asking your man is a great way to start.  What does he envision for your big day?  Is there something that is really important to him that you might not know about?  These are things to think about and ask.  And don’t underestimate yourselves!  We know our men better than anyone.  Whether it’s comic-book themed ideas or his favorite sports team, be creative and have fun with it!  Your men will follow.